by Dina Perkins
Let me preface this article by saying that I never came close to looking for a way out of emotional or physical pain with any type of prescription drug. I began at age 11 with a doctor’s prescription. I learned quickly over the years, that pills were the only answer available. My parents taught me that doctors were never to be questioned, so – until 9 years ago – I never did. Children learn what they live, which essentially means that whatever the parents do and believe, the child will do the same. I learned, from a fragile young age, an unintentional lie from my parents that you never question a doctor; so, I didn’t. All be it that it was unintentional, it still caused agonizing suffering that led to my near death in 2007.
Had someone informed or alerted me that Rx dugs were the cause of so much suffering over the years that I took them, I would have jumped to attention and listened; however no one did. It wasn’t until I was having wild hallucinations and was in seriously life threatening withdrawal, that my older daughter said to my in a phone conversation…”mom, it’s just your drugs and you need to go into detox”. She knew all to personally, because four years prior, she suffered similarly from an addiction to Fentanyl pops (Actiq). Her San Diego hot shot physiatrist (pain specialist) sold them to her from her office – to the tune of over $2000/month at that time. (Yes… doctors are drug dealers in white coats!)
Since my near death in 2007, life… in most ways, has been total freedom… a release like no other! I was in solitary confinement… in a prison of my mind… from Rx drugs that my doctor addicted me to. At the time of my near death, I had been taking 12 narcotics with the addition of Benzos and antidepressants – all taken EXACTLY as prescribed! Afer it was over, friends told me, ‘I knew you had a problem but I didn’t want to say anything’. Friends??? Really???? Real friends don’t do that. Real friends have your back… even if the truth hurts.
So what is beyond that awesome miracle that Jesus did for me by saving my life, setting me free to never hunger for drugs again, and giving me a ministry saving the lives of others who ended on the same dark road I once walked on? Well, everything in life has consequences. I’m here to tell you that you don’t get off scott free for anything. If we didn’t have lingering consequences, we would all go and do it again… whatever the ‘it’ is to you.
My consequences are, of course, chronic pain which never leaves me alone and prevents me from doing many things that I want to do. When I was on the drugs, constant sleep, withdrawal and lethargy stopped me from doing anything whatsoever. There was NO quality of life on the drugs. All addictive prescription medications have serious ‘forever’ side effects that render you disabled. I’ll just ask you to do your own research on that; however, I will tell you that my head suffers pain and pressure ALL the time, with visual disturbances in the form of blurriness that occurs often from the pressure and pain behind my eyes. My head and entire body feel like a violent storm is surging – constantly and there is a violent ‘vibration’… a ‘buzzing’… that never leaves me alone. After you stop taking them, SSRI’s cause these types of symptoms, as well as do Benzos. I’ve learned that as I searched and researched for answers to these bizarre symptoms. Doctors will NEVER tell you these things! they just want you as their cash cow by staying addicted and returning to their offices once a month.
I cope with life after my near death from Rx drugs, through my faith in Jesus Christ and Him alone. I will do His work until the day I go home to be with Him forever. He is all that I need and want. He has set me on the straight and narrow and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. My joy has been made full and I have the peace of God which extends beyond human understanding. My pain, for the past 9+ years, is simply a reminder of what an awesome God I serve and I don’t look for a way out of it any longer. If Jesus wants to heal me of the pain, He will. I’m His child and He knows what’s best for me. There are reasons for everything and I just say, thank you Lord. I cherish each and every God given day I have on this planet because, to pay it forward to all of you, makes it all worth it.
There is hope, help & support. No doctor or addiction is worth losing your soul over. Contact me.
Who gives you instant pain control? Jesus, our Messiah. I may not be the physical relief you want, although He does that too. It’s the eternal relief and reward to serving Him that you need to be after. IatrogenicAddiction.com